PRESS RELEASE – Following a rally for Republican front-runner Donald Trump Monday night at the Tsongas Center, Lowell’s favorite aligator, the Canaligator, has officially announced his intent to run for president in 2016.
Through his publicist, the Canaligator released the following statement: “I have lived my life by the motto ‘Every night is opening night'” said Canaligator “Now I believe that it is time for us to gather as a nation and make every night opening night…for America.”
The Canaligator has served as the mascot for the Lowell Spinners, Class A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox, since the team’s inception in 1996. He is joined by his wife, Allie-Gator, and their daughter, Millie, who is rumored to throw one heck of a curveball.
“On behalf of the Spinners, we fully endorse Canaligator in his run for the White House in 2016.” said Spinners General Manager Tim Bawmann “He has been a fixture in the city of Lowell for twenty years and we are fully confident he is the right gator for the job.”
Fans of the Spinners will still see Canaligator and his family cheering on the team at LeLacheur Park throughout the 2016 season. The stadium will serve as his campaign headquarters.
“Look, I’m just a blue-collar gator who believes in staying in touch with his roots. Lowell is my home. These are the canals I swam in as a hatchling. LeLacheur Park is where I fell in love with baseball. What’s more American than an alligator running for president out of a baseball stadium?”