Canaligator Running for President

Lowell Spinners LogoPRESS RELEASE – Following a rally for Republican front-runner Donald Trump Monday night at the Tsongas Center, Lowell’s favorite aligator, the Canaligator, has officially announced his intent to run for president in 2016.

Through his publicist, the Canaligator released the following statement: “I have lived my life by the motto ‘Every night is opening night'” said Canaligator “Now I believe that it is time for us to gather as a nation and make every night opening night…for America.”

Lowell Spinners Canaligator for PrezThe Canaligator has served as the mascot for the Lowell Spinners, Class A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox, since the team’s inception in 1996. He is joined by his wife, Allie-Gator, and their daughter, Millie, who is rumored to throw one heck of a curveball.

“On behalf of the Spinners, we fully endorse Canaligator in his run for the White House in 2016.” said Spinners General Manager Tim Bawmann “He has been a fixture in the city of Lowell for twenty years and we are fully confident he is the right gator for the job.”

Fans of the Spinners will still see Canaligator and his family cheering on the team at LeLacheur Park throughout the 2016 season. The stadium will serve as his campaign headquarters.

“Look, I’m just a blue-collar gator who believes in staying in touch with his roots. Lowell is my home. These are the canals I swam in as a hatchling. LeLacheur Park is where I fell in love with baseball. What’s more American than an alligator running for president out of a baseball stadium?”

1 Comment

Filed under Fun & Atmosphere, Promotions & Entertainment

One response to “Canaligator Running for President

  1. I think y’all might be on to something. I just read the following elsewhere:

    It’s come to my attention that the Canaligator, the mascot for our Lowell Spinners, has thrown his hat into the ring. Which is to say, he decided to become a serious Presidential candidate, at least as serious as the folks populating the clown show to which we’re currently being exposed, whether we wish it or not. His catch phrase is “Every night is opening night…for America”. As every sports fan knows, opening night (or day) is the time when everyone hopes for a new beginning. For most of us, our favorite team had a dismal year previously. But on opening night (or day), we all believe that things will be different this time around. This time around, things will work out. So, each opening night is a new beginning; each opening night holds promise for a new epiphany. Clearly one new epiphany we can imagine would be a world where people find better things to do than kill each other. I think the Canaligator is on to something. Bless his heart.

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