QB Tom Brady Banned from FirstEnergy Park

Lakewood BlueClaws Alternative LogoPRESS RELEASE – Following Monday’s announcement that the NFL has suspended Tom Brady for the first four games of the 2015 regular season for “conduct detrimental to the integrity of the NFL,” the Lakewood BlueClaws have made the decision to immediately and permanently prohibit Mr. Brady from FirstEnergy Park to preserve the integrity of the inflatable InVision Eyecare Eyeball Race.

The InVision Eyecare Eyeball Race is held nightly, and has been since 2001. The three Eyeballs – Blue, Green, and Brown – need to be inflated each night, and inflation or deflation of the Eyeballs could easily impact their results.

Lakewood BlueClaws Tom Brady Banned

The team noted the importance of preserving the integrity of this nightly competition. Entering Monday, Blue Eye had won nine of the 15 races this year, with Green Eye and Brown Eye each winning three.

In addition to banning Brady from the ballpark, he is also banned from having any role in the preparation, supervision, or handling of on field entertainment at FirstEnergy Park, or from any participation therein.

This decision was based in large part on the finding by independent investigator Ted Wells that Brady was “at least generally aware” of deliberate actions by Patriots’ employees to decrease the inflation of footballs in the AFC Championship Game.

To ensure the continued integrity of our on field entertainment, and out of respect for you, our fans, the decision was made to ban Mr. Brady from any potential involvement.

As Commissioner Goodell said, “[w]e relied on the critical importance of protecting the integrity of the game and the thoroughness and independence of the Wells report.” We hope that this decision will demonstrate our commitment to ensuring that all inflatable items at FirstEnergy Park, from our entry gate to our (insert outlandish inflatable item here) will be filled to their proper levels, in accordance with manufacturer recommendations.

The BlueClaws are the Jersey Shore’s top stop for affordable, family entertainment. They have led the South Atlantic League in attendance in all 14 years of existence and this year are celebrating their 15th season of family fun.

2 Comments

Filed under Fun & Atmosphere

2 responses to “QB Tom Brady Banned from FirstEnergy Park

  1. Been Around

    How incredibly 1995.

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